Somewhere in the Closet
by BakaMoyashi-chan
Summary: John and Dean's "heterosexuality" have allowed them to traverse passed the boundaries of Narnia into a land previous unknown to man. Crackness ensues. Destiel and Johnlock, along with swearing. Don't like don't read.


**Hello I'm Baka-chan. This is another crack fic I have decided to do because I found the idea amazing. I don't have great lengths of words to put here so I am going to shut up now.**

**Warning: Swearing because guess who found a Winchester.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the shows, books, or movies referenced in this little ficlet. Credit goes where credit is do.**

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Somewhere so far in the closet that it was past the boundaries of Narnia there was a table, and at that table sat two men who currently sat in a companionable silence. They had sat together since sometime during 2008, when the younger green eyed man had suddenly appeared, and neither had moved an inch since.

"You known John," Dean said idly, "I have been with a women in nearly every single state of the US."

"Not bad. I'm known is Three Continents Watson in the army." John boasted in reply. "The girls love a man in uniform."

Dean looked fairly impressed, but pushed forward in their odd conservation. "There was once this women who had the longest legs and eyes that were this beautiful sparkling blue, though they weren't nearly as nice as Cas's... I mean nice as... glass." Dean said, coughing uncomfortably at the end.

"Long legs?" John asked, choosing to ignore the last bit for Dean's sake, "well my flat mate Sherlock has these mile long legs that lead to this beautifully plush arse-" John choked at the end of his sentence, trying to get back the words that had accidently slipped from his mouth, "but I'm not gay!"

"No of course not," Dean agreed, "like another guys ass don't make you gay. I mean, I often stare at Cas's ass but I'm 100% hetero."

"Also admiring the eyes." John added in, "it isn't gay to stare longingly into his orbs whenever we look at each other. I just... appreciate the colour."

"Do his do that cute lil sparkle thing wen he gets excited?" Dean asked.

"Yes!" John said, sounding a tad too excited, " it makes his eyes dance and its absolutely beautiful... That is the colour is beautiful to see... like that..."

"Has he ever gotten overly excited and then just hugged you with a crushing force?" Dean questioned to cover up the awkwardness John had caused.

"Plenty of times, my Sher-... Flat mate is incredibly strong despite his appearance." John said proudly.

"Cas is that way too. He's a scrawny little nerd but he could probably pick up my car with one arm. God would I like to see his muscles... Ya know to do a comparison." Dean explained, flexing slightly.

The conversation from there deteriorated into simple stories of machoness and heterosexuality along with a handful of totally not gay admiration for their respective best "friends". It went on like that for awhile, and would have gone on for longer but a fabulous blue box deposited two blue eyed love interests by the table.

"Come on John its time to leave," Sherlock whined as he walked up to the rather short man. "All these stupid pretenses of yours are so transparent even Anderson can see through them." He added, completely disregarding Dean in his quest for John.

"Wha-... The hell Sherlock! I'm not gay!" John exclaimed.

Sherlock rolled his eyes quite dramatically. With a few short strides he was able to reach forward and grab a fistful of John's jumper. With surprise on his side Sherlock was able to pull John forward and smash their lips together. After a few minutes, or possibly a few years, of some fierce snogging Sherlock pulled back, looking down into John's eyes as he did. "Now will you come out of the closet with me?"

"Oh God yes." John said, star struck. He barely noticed as Sherlock dragged him in the direction of this random lamp in the middle of the woods off to the right of the table John had been sitting at.

Outside of the Johnlock bubbles Dean and Cas were doing the same thing as usual, staring at each other with barely contained sexual tension.

"Hello Dean." Cas said.

"What are you doing here Cas?" Dean asked.

"I'm here to raise your ass from the closet." Cas somehow managed to say in his normal monotone voice. Dean was about to protest that he wasn't gay but Cas continued, "Sam sends his regards as well as a demand for the end of the "uncomfortably sexual stares". In short he had left the bunker for awhile and wishes us to copulate while he is gone."

"But... but I'm not gay." Dean protested weakly, not really putting up a good argument.

"And I'm not a man. I'm an angel you dumbass." Cas growled. Grabbing Dean's shoulder, his hand fit perfectly with the print left there from Dean's rise from hell, he flew off with him to go do God-probably-doesn't-want-to-know what.

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**Well there is that lovely bit of crack. I hope you enjoyed it, please leave me a review if you did. Or if you didn't, just please review.**


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